‘My thoughts never slow down and I quickly get overwhelmed’: This is how I experience anxiety

My History With Anxiety

My anxiety started when I was a teenager. Things were happening to my family that I could not control: My parents divorced, my dad moved out and we had to sell my childhood home the month I left for college. I dealt with these changes by becoming an overachiever — competitive in academics, extracurricular activities and highly focused on setting goals for my future.

Because my anxiety manifests from the loss of control, it reached a peak in my early 30s when I became a mother for the first time. Babies are needy, unpredictable and (surprise!) do not follow a schedule when they are born. My carefully crafted vision of being a wife with a nice house, a couple dogs and kids was not working out as I planned. One day, I finally scheduled an appointment with my doctor. I left with a prescription to treat panic attacks, but when I wanted to get pregnant again a few years later, I had to stop taking the medication. After my son was born, my husband suggested I visit a counselor. Once I admitted I had anxiety, we were able to discuss a treatment plan. Today I manage it with a combination of medication, therapy, journaling and exercise.

 

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Published by:
The Washington Post

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